Lily, De, and Kris' Middle-Earth Adventure
by Loser Girl
Summary: ~ Finished ~ Ever wonder what would happen if 3 hormonally-insane girls got a hold of Bill and Ted's telephone booth transporter machine thing? Me, either, but just read it!
1. What the Hell is a Telephone Booth Doing...

~*~* A/N: All right. I wrote this after seeing Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure for the first time. I am calling this my most crack-headed idea ever. Enjoy.*~*~  
  
  
"Pause!!!" exclaimed Kris, grabbing the remote off the couch. De and Lily simultaneously rolled their eyes as Kris fawned over the boy on the television screen.  
  
"Kris.. he's a Hobbit, for god's sakes," said Lily, being bombarded with popcorn by Kris the moment after she said it.  
  
"So, at least I'm not in love with pin-cushion boy," retorted Kris, a grin on her face. Lily threw a pillow at her.  
  
"Guys.. guys.. come on, now," said De, and then added, with a giggle, "Besides, the King of Gondor is so much hotter."  
  
"Noro lim, Aragorn!" exclaimed Kris, nearly falling off the couch with laughter. Both De and Lily threw popcorn at her.   
  
"Unpause the damn movie," said Lily, and Kris obliged.  
  
"It comes in pints?!" they all exclaimed, in perfect tune with Pippin on the screen.   
  
  
~*~ 2 hours later ~*~  
  
  
"Wow.. that movie's the best," breathed Kris, wiping away tears. Lily and De grinned, nodding their agreement.  
  
"Boy, wouldn't I like to be in Middle-Earth right now," said Lily with a smirk.  
  
"Yea... but mostly so you could blow the Horn of Gondor," De cracked, and Lily giggled.  
  
"We ought to go," said Kris, a thoughtful look in her eyes.  
  
"Oh, god, what's she planning?" asked De, and Lily shrugged.  
  
Suddenly, from outside, a burst of light shone through the windows in the house, and a crash. The girls leapt up, and looked out the window.  
  
"What the hell is a phone booth doing in my front yard?!" exclaimed Lily, and she opened her front door. De and Kris followed her, and stood, astonished, facing three people who emerged from the phone booth.  
  
"You're.. us!" exclaimed De, looking herself in the face.  
  
"Well, uh, yea," said the other De (the phone booth one, not the original one).  
  
Kris blinked, looking at herself. Lily did much of the same.  
  
"What in the name of Valar is going on?!" shreiked Lily, and the other Lily grinned.  
  
"You guys, I mean.. us guys," said the other Lily, "You.. we.. will never believe where we just were. Anyway, here's what's going on.."  
  
  
"Okay," said De, after the other three of them were gone, "So we have this telephone booth. And it'll bring us anywhere in time.. all we have to do is look up the number."  
  
Kris was paging through the phone directory right at that moment.  
  
"Hm.. Lebanon.. Liberia.. Middle Ages.. MIDDLE EARTH!" Kris shreiked the last name. She started to jump up and down excitedly. "Guys, guys! They have a number for Middle Earth!"  
  
"No way!" exclaimed Lily, taking the book and looking at it. "They do, wow.. and they even have all the ages."  
  
"Guys.." said De with a grin. "I have a great idea."  
  
  
"Okay, guys.. let's make sure we have everything. Beer?" asked Lily, and De nodded. "Popcorn?" Kris nodded. "Rope?" Lily looked down, noting the rope.   
  
"Well.. looks like that's all. Besides, we shouldn't be gone long at all. Just long enough to get .. the guys," she said with a grin.   
  
"How, exactly, are we going to get the guys?" asked Kris, raising her eyebrows. "I mean, Pip should be easy enough, 'cause he's short and probably already drunk. But... Boromir and Aragorn? Those guys are big."  
  
"Well, I can just use my sex appeal," said Lily with a grin, and De rolled her eyes.  
  
"If that fails," said De, "we could always knock them out with a heavy object and tie them up."  
  
"Or," said Kris with a shrug, "They may be so surprised by three girls popping out of the sky in a phone booth that they'll faint."  
  
"Hello, sex appeal!" said Lily, and the other two giggled.   
  
"Right, then, let's go!" said De, and the three girls walked out the door.  
  
Their three counterparts stood before them.  
  
"We have one last message," said the other Lily, "Remember to get home before midnight, whatever you do. You cannot stay in Middle Earth for more than one day."  
  
"Okay," said the original Lily, raising her eyebrows.  
  
The other Kris giggled, and poked the original Kris in the stomache.  
  
"Say hi to the elves of Lorien for me," the other Kris laughed, and Kris raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Kris, Lily, and De stepped into the telephone booth, waving goodbye to themselves. De pressed a series of numbers on the phone booth, and, with a flash of light, it vanished from Lily's front yard.  
  
  
~*~ A/N: Yes, I am insane. I hope you guys liked it, and please reveiw!!! *~*~ 


	2. I'm Sure the Guards of Rivendell are Nic...

~*~ A/N: 'ello. Here's chapter two to my crackheaded story. Thanks for reading, and please reveiw! *~*~  
  
  
  
"That was fun!" exclaimed Kris, as the three piled out of the phone booth, looking around.  
  
"Where did you bring us?" asked De, glancing around at the trees.  
  
"Um.. right outside Rivendell, jus' before the Council of Elrond. That way, all the guys are at the same place at the same time," responded Lily. "Now, do we all know the plan?"  
  
"What plan?" asked Kris, raising her eyebrows. "I don't remember a plan."  
  
"Oh, right.. I didn't tell you guys. Here's the plan. We get the guys and we get back by midnight. Remember what I .. the other I.. said. Okay, so, De, what time is it?"  
  
De held up her bare wrist. "Not wearing a watch, Lil."  
  
".. Kris?"  
  
"A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy," Kris said absently, glancing around.   
  
"Would you stop speaking in movie quotes for a second?" asked Lily, and shook her head. "Well, we'll just have to estimate the time. I'd say it's about four... that gives us eight hours to grab the guys and get back."  
  
"Simple," said Kris with a grin, and looked around. "So.. um.. where are we going?"  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "We're just outside Rivendell. All we have to do is find the city."  
  
"How do we know they'll let us in?" asked De. "I mean, don't they have guards or something?"  
  
Kris blinked. "Um.. they probably do. I know Lorien has guards.. like Haldir. Boy, was he ever cute.. talked like he had something up his ass, but..." Kris looked at Lily and smiled. "Sorry, off the subject. Rivendell guards ought to be nice enough anyway."  
  
  
Lily, De, and Kris blinked almost simultaneously as a guard of Rivendell drew his sword.  
  
"What is your business in Rivendell?" he demanded, in Elvish, and the girls shared a look.  
  
"I'll take this one," whispered Kris, and stepped forward. "Mae govannen," she said, in a loud voice. "Elen sila lumenn'omentielvo."  
  
The guard seemed taken aback, that a human girl would have the knowledge of their language.  
  
"Can you speak in the Common Tongue?" she asked in Elvish, and the guard shook his head. Turning, he called out a name, and another guard appeared, almost from out of nowhere.   
  
"I do speak in the Common Tongue," he said, glaring down upon the girls. "What is your business in Rivendell?"  
  
"We seek council with the Lord Elrond," spoke up Lily, taking a step forward. "We have information that would be of great use to him."  
  
"What information do you speak of?" demanded the guard, and De stepped forward.  
  
"It would be best to discuss such matters within city walls," she said, soft but clear, "For I fear there may be spies of the Enemy about."  
  
The guard seemed to agree, and motioned for the girls to follow him.  
  
"Where did you learn Elvish?" whispered De to Kris, and the girl shrugged.  
  
"I used to be Legolas-obsessed, before I discovered the wonders of Hobbits."  
  
  
The guard glanced Lily, De, and Kris over. Lily, with long brown hair, was very tall and thin, seeming to have almost an elvish quality about her. She had a biting wit, and was the eldest of the three. De, with olive skin and long dark hair, was quiet, but had a very sweet smile. De was the youngest of them all, though not much younger than Kris. And Kris, the middle, age wise, was a bit taller than Lily, but had shorter hair; and it was red, falling to just above her shoulders. Kris' eyes seemed forever laughing, and oft the sound of giggles erupted from her. The three contrasted each other greatly, and it was obvious to the guards that they were dear friends.   
  
"Wow," breathed De as they entered the city of Rivendell. It was even more beautiful than it had been in the movie.  
  
"Agreed," murmured Kris.  
  
"You will see the Lord Elrond soon," said the guard, and left them beside a fountain outside the House of Elrond.  
  
"Jeepers," muttered Kris, glancing around. De sat beside the fountain, looking into it.  
  
"Are you sure we hid the booth well enough?" she asked, and Lily nodded.  
  
"Of course we did, De. Don't worry so much. Enjoy, I mean, you're about to meet Aragorn!" This drew a grin from De, and she was about to respond when Kris squealed.  
  
Pointing at a spot above them, she jumped up and down. "Look! It's hobbits!" Kris exclaimed, and Lily shook her head.  
  
"You are a stupendous crack head," she said, and De laughed.   
  
"Yea, but.. look, it's Frodo and Sam," said Kris. "I wonder where Pip and Merry are."  
  
"If those two are talking," said De softly, "Then that means Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli should be arriving soon."  
  
"And that would place Aragorn in Elrond's library," said Kris.   
  
Surely enough, within a few moments, horses rode up. Lily gulped, as she watched a light-brown haired man glance around upon his horse, then dismount. He happened to glance in their direction, and caught Lily's open-mouthed stare. As he approached, Kris poked Lily in the stomache.  
  
"You would do well to close thine mouth," she said softly, and Lily did so.  
  
"Good day, miladies," he said gently, nodding his head politely to each girl. "Who might you be?"  
  
"We are the ladies Lily, De, and Kris," said De, once she realized that Lily was speechless.   
  
Boromir smiled softly, and bowed his head. "I am Boromir."  
  
"Son of Deneathor," responded Kris with a small smirk, "Deneathor being, of course, the Steward of Gondor."  
  
Boromir widened his eyes. "You know of me, then," he said, and glanced at Lily and De. "Do your associates share your knowledge?"  
  
"We are all quite knowledgeable," responded De, and poked Lily. "Though some of us are rather silent at the moment."  
  
"Indeed," said Boromir with a smile. "Well, then, I will hope to meet you ladies again."  
  
"Count on it," murmured Lily, watching him as he left.  
  
  
  
~*~ A/N: Please reveiw! Thanks you! :-D *~*~ 


	3. That is no mere Ranger! It is Aragorn! S...

~*~ A/N: Here's chapter three, my crack-headed story. Thanks! Please reveiw! *~*~  
  
  
"What brings you to Rivendell?" asked Elrond with a small welcoming smile. Kris, De, and Lily stood before him. They bowed their heads, and then glanced at one another, unsure of how much to tell him.   
  
"We come to share information," spoke up Lily. "We know of.." she glanced about, unsure if it were safe to mention the ring.  
  
"We know of Master Baggins' burden," interjected Kris, with a small smile. "We are masters of lore, and we have studied such in great detail. We thought perhaps we may meet with the fe-"  
  
"With you and your associates," put in De quickly, knowing that Kris was about to say "fellowship". In fact, the fellowship of the ring had not yet been formed.  
  
"Well," said Elrond, his eyes resting upon each of the girls in turn. "Welcome to Rivendell. I am most happy that you chose to share your knowledge. I must go see Master Baggins now, but I look forward to meeting you again. I would appreciate your presence at a meeting within the hour."  
  
As he stepped out of the room, the three turned to each other.  
  
"Okay, guys.. how much are we going to tell him? I mean.. we've read the books, seen the movie, and we know how it ends," said Lily, her eyes worried.  
  
"I 'spose it would be rude to ruin the ending," said Kris with a small smile. "Although.. wouldn't it be cool to just run around telling them their fortunes? They'd think we were great seers!"  
  
"Or witches, and have us killed," said De, shaking her head. "No, we shouldn't tell them the magnitude of our knowledge. Remember the plan, guys. Get the men, get out."  
  
Kris sighed, and nodded. "Oh, all right. Party pooper," she mumbled, then glanced about. "I wonder where Pippin is right now."  
  
  
Kris, Lily, and De sat beside one another, at the council of Elrond. About them, the rest of the deligates from the races sat.  
  
Lily poked De in the arm. "Look, it's Aragorn."  
  
Elrond called the meeting to order then, and Kris peered behind him, trying to catch a glimpse of Pippin, or even Merry.   
  
"It is a gift," Boromir was saying, and Kris rolled her eyes, feeling the need to say something. She held back that urge until Boromir asked, "And what does a Ranger know of this land's plight?"   
  
Kris could not resist jumping out of her seat and, in perfect synchronicity with Legolas, saying loudly. "That is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. And you owe him your allegiance."  
  
Lily and De had to work quite hard to stifle their giggles as Legolas and Aragorn both shot Kris puzzled looks. Even Elrond looked flabberghasted.  
  
Kris grinned sheepishly. "I'll sit down now," she said softly, and, holding back a giggle, returned to her seat.  
  
"You would do well not to try that again," said Lily with a smirk. "They'll start to think you're reading their minds."  
  
"I very well could," responded Kris. "After all, we've all seen the movie enough times to."  
  
"And you have my bow," Legolas was saying, and Kris watched, amused, for the entrance of Pippin. De's eyes were locked upon Aragorn, and Lily was watching Boromir longingly.   
  
"We're coming too!" exclaimed Merry, and he and Pippin ran out. Kris gulped, her eyes widening.  
  
"Kris.. don't tackle the hobbit. I know, you want to, but don't," De said, and Kris pouted.  
  
"Oh, you're no fun."  
  
Kris, Lily, and De leapt up.  
  
"We will come with you!" announced Lily, as Elrond was stating that this, the nine men, would be the Fellowship of the Ring.  
  
"Bring women? That would be folly," said Boromir, shaking his head.  
  
"One would say that bringing you would be folly," said Lily, glaring up at him. "For it is obvious that your will is to weild the ring. It is not a selfish will, but a foolish one."  
  
Boromir was clearly taken aback by this. Kris looked down at Pippin, who was looking at the three girls wide-eyed. Aragorn stood, his face expressionless.  
  
"I say, if the females wish to come, allow them, so long as they know the danger," said Gimli, and De smiled.   
  
"Thank you, master dwarf," said Lily, and Elrond nodded.  
  
"The girls are quite knowledgeable," he said, and then nodded once more. "Very well. The Fellowship of the Ring will be accompanied by these three ladies."  
  
  
~*~ A/N: ooo.. ~*~* 


	4. Technically, We Didn't *Join* the Fellow...

~*~ A/N: I had a bloody hard time getting through this chapter! I think I'm developing a block!!! *~*~  
  
  
"Guys.. this is insane," said De to Lily and Kris, as they readied to go on the journey. "We had a plan.. I liked the plan.. so why are we going with them?"  
  
Kris raised her eyebrows, and glanced to Lily.  
  
"Um.." Kris started, but Lily interrupted her.  
  
"We're going along because we want to! I know, I know, I said.. the other me, I mean, said we should be back by midnight, but honestly. What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
Kris blinked, looking at Lily. "That's the one thing you never, ever say Lily. Everything's always going fine until someone says, 'Well, gee, what's the worst that could happen?'!"  
  
Lily shook her head, and laughed. "Nonsense. Come along, we've dreamed about this forever and ever! This is The Fellowship of the Ring! De, come on. You mean to tell me you don't want to spend more time with Aragorn."  
  
"We could've spent a lot of time with him if we would've KIDNAPPED him like we were going to do," said De reasonably, and Lily turned to Kris.  
  
"Help me out here, Kris. I mean, you want to spend time with the hobbits, right? We could help the Fellowship so much! Imagine what we could do for them, we know everything that's going to happen!"  
  
"It isn't wise to play with fate," said De softly, but then shook her head. "Fine, Lily. It's your choice, so I suppose we'll stay."  
  
"Excellent! There's just the little matter of what to do with the booth."  
  
  
Eventually, they decided to leave the telephone booth under the care of Elrond. He promised to look after it, but was quite unsure as to what, exactly, it was. After that, they borrowed swords, and were ready to accompany the men.  
  
"Hey, guys," whispered Kris, and Lily and De turned to look at her. "How much are we going to tell them? I mean.. are we going to warn them of Gandalf's falling and Boromir's death?"  
  
Lily and De looked puzzled for a moment, and then they both shrugged.  
  
"I suppose we'll see to that when the time comes," said De gently, and then they set off with the Fellowship.  
  
  
As they took a break, just below the mountains of Caradharas, De sat close to Aragorn, catching his eye every now and then and smiling sweetly. Kris and Lily watched as Boromir taught Pip and Merry to swordfight. Behind them, smooth as a cat, Legolas hopped from one rock to another, his eyes fixed on a point to the west.  
  
"Birds," said De softly.   
  
"Those are no birds," said Aragorn softly, and they all jumped back in astonishment as a telephone booth shot down and landed just feet from where they sat.  
  
"Oh, blimey," said Kris softly, and the three girls stood up.  
  
"What sort of devilry is this?" demanded Boromir, and Lily shook her head.  
  
"No devilry.. just.. a time machine."  
  
  
The other Lily stepped from the Telephone Booth, her arms crossed. Kris and De followed her, all of them looking rather angry.  
  
"You know.. when I said 'Be back by midnight', I meant it," said Lily with a glare. "You weren't supposed to join the Fellowship!"  
  
"Technically, we didn't join them.. we're just accompanying them," corrected Kris, and was met only by glares.  
  
"What is going on?"asked Gandalf, looking at the telephone booth and the three girls who stepped out of it.  
  
"I'd like to know that as well," said Aragorn softly.  
  
"All right," said Lily with a sigh, "Here's what happened."  
  
  
"So we looked up the number, and here we are," finished Kris, and was met by a lot of blinking and puzzled stares.   
  
"But why did you come here?" asked Gimli, puzzled.  
  
Kris giggled, and turned to Lily and De. "It's a funny story, actually.. we wanted to meet you. All of you, but some of you more than others," she glanced at Pippin, then looked down, blushing.  
  
"You came all this way.. to meet us?" asked Merry, his eyes wide.  
  
"Yea," said De softly. "I mean.. you guys are the best! The Fellowship of the ring? It's amazing. A lot of people from my world would love to come here."  
  
"I am not sure whether to be honored or frightened," said Boromir, glancing at Lily. "But I am rather glad you came here. This makes for a rather interesting journey."  
  
"To say the least," added Aragorn.  
  
  
~*~ A/N: I think that sucked. But, anyway, hopefully more, better stuff to come soon. *~*~ 


	5. Let's Get the Hell Moving

~*~* A/N: All right.. here's the next chapter! Stuff's starting to get a little serious! :-D Anyway, I hope you like! Please reveiw! ~*~*  
  
  
  
They watched as the other three girls piled into the telephone booth, and with a flash of light, were gone.  
  
  
"I wonder," said Aragorn softly, and Gandalf looked up. "If the girls knew we would be at Rivendell, then do they know what has not yet come to pass?"   
  
The Fellowship were gathered on one end of the camp, discussing all that had happened in the past several minutes.  
  
"I do not doubt that," said Gandalf thoughtfully, "For they knew of the Ring."  
  
"And they knew of my father," added Boromir.  
  
"And it seemed that Lady Kris read my mind during the Council," said Legolas.  
  
The nine looked up, at the girls.  
  
  
The girls huddled on the other end of the camp.   
  
"So, are we still going?" asked De softly, glancing about.  
  
"I think we have to," said Lily, blinking. "Besides, we don't even have our booth here."  
  
Kris was in deep thought, her brow furrowed. When it came down to it, Kris was capable of being serious, but only when she absolutely needed to.  
  
"Elves of Lorien," she said softly, and De and Lily glanced at her.  
  
"What?" asked Lily, and Kris nodded softly.  
  
"We're meant to go with them," said Kris, tucking her red hair behind her ears.   
  
"How do you know?" asked De, her hazel eyes wide.  
  
"The other me, just before we left your house, Lily, told me to 'Say hi to the elves of Lorien' for me."  
  
"Point?" asked Lily, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"How else would I possibly do that unless we did go with them?"  
  
Lily's face softened as she realized this. De smiled, and patted Kris on the back.  
  
"Nice," she said softly, and was interrupted as Gandalf cleared his throat above them. The three girls looked up at him.  
  
"We have decided a course of action," Gandalf said, his voice hard and deep. "We wish you to continue on with us, for we believe you have knowledge of our futures."  
  
Kris, Lily, and De shared looks, and then nodded.  
  
"We will go," said De softly, avoiding Aragorn's questioning eyes.   
  
  
The group of twelve pushed through the snow of Caradharas. Lily, De, and Kris decided it would be best not to interfere in the journey until Moria, when it would be necessary. Aragorn and Boromir each held two Hobbits in their arms, as Gandalf and Gimli pushed through the snow.  
  
Kris nudged Boromir.  
  
"Maybe you should help Gandalf," she said, loudly so he could hear her against the harsh, biting wind. "I can take the Hobbits."  
  
Boromir reluctantly agreed, handing Pippin and Merry to Kris. She held them tightly, struggling a bit with their weight, and thanking Valar that she had gone through that weight lifting phase. She felt how cold they were, and it nearly broke her heart when she looked down upon their faces, seeing their skin so pale it was almost blue.   
  
Lily, who was used to a warm climate, (she was from the South, but De and Kris originally hailed from the snowy Northeast), was having a hard time with the snow. Boromir looked upon her, concerned.   
  
"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice being lost in the wind.  
  
"What?" asked Lily, looking up. Her teeth chattered.  
  
"Are you all right?" Boromir repeated, this time louder.  
  
"It's cold out here," said Lily, braving a soft smile.  
  
"Thank you, Captain State-The-Obvious," said De, walking directly behind Lily. Kris was in front of the two, still carrying her Hobbits.  
  
"There's a fell voice on the air!" exclaimed Legolas, who, thanks to his elvishness, was able to walk on the snow rather than through it. Gandalf began to shout a spell back at Saruman.  
  
"Yodel-ay-ee-hoo," mumbled Kris, and Pippin looked at her, puzzled.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Nothing, Mr. Took," she said gently, and placed a kiss on his freezing nose. If the Hobbit had any color left in his cheeks, he would have blushed.   
  
  
Kris shivered, and Lily looked like she was about to pass out from the cold. They now sat by the entrance of Moria. De sat, her arms hugging her knees to her chest, beside Aragorn's feet.  
  
Lily grumbled something, then walked up to the door. Glaring up at it, she shouted, too loudly, perhaps, "MELLON!"  
  
The doors swung open, and Gandalf stood, looking at the door, then at Lily, in amazement.   
  
"Let's get the hell moving," said Lily harshly, and entered Moria. 


	6. Tingle.. Where, Exactly?

~*~ A/N: This is by far my favorite chapter yet! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! *~*~  
  
  
"This is no mine.. it's a tomb," said Boromir, looking about. De looked down. Even though she had seen this so many times in the movie... it wasn't the same now. She was here, and it was real. These were real skeletons, and there was really a large, tentacled monster outside the door...  
  
"Oh Valar," murmured De, and she looked up just as the tentacle was creeping toward Frodo's leg.  
  
"Frodo!" she shouted, and the tentacle leapt forward, grabbing his leg.  
  
"Peachy," said Kris softly, the one out of the girls who was closest to the door. She pulled her sword from it's sheath.   
  
"BONZAI!" she screamed, and leapt at the monster's face as it emerged from the water. With one tentacle, it grabbed her and threw her into the water, holding her beneath the surface, then directed it's full attention on the Ring-bearer.  
  
"Kris, you big dumbass!" exclaimed Lily, and turned to Boromir. "Do something!" she shouted.   
  
Kris started to kick her legs, splashing, as she was held under the water by a slimy, disgusting tentacle. As soon as Frodo was freed, Boromir and Aragorn leapt at the tentacle that held Kris under. Within moments, she was freed, and Aragorn grabbed her arm, pulling her from the water.  
  
She coughed and sputtered, greatly resembling a drowned rat. Spitting water out, she followed the rest of them quickly into the mine. The wall behind them collapsed, and Kris groaned, shaking water out of her hair.  
  
"I'm wet, I'm cold, and I'm starving. Not to mention, I have to piss. I don't like this journey any more."  
  
  
Kris was still grumbling as they approached a split in the road, so to speak.  
  
"I have no memory of this place," muttered Gandalf, and the rest of them sat down. Kris lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. Her clothes were wet and heavy, and, despite her usual jovial mood, she was feeling rather bitchy.  
  
Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir spoke in a corner. After a few moments, the three approached Kris.   
  
"Here," said Aragorn, handing her a small collection of clothes - his own overshirt, an extra pair of Legolas' leggings, and a cloak of Boromir's. "Your clothes are rather wet, and we wouldn't want you to become ill."  
  
Kris looked at them, and offered a small smile. "Thanks. If you would make sure all of the Fellowship faces the other way while I change, I would appreciate it greatly."  
  
With a smile, Boromir nodded, and instructed the Hobbits to face the other direction. He sat beside Lily, placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"You are rather quiet," he said softly.  
  
"I'm thinking," she replied simply.   
  
"Of what?" he asked, letting his hand rest on her.  
  
"Of this journey. It's real here.. back home, it was all just a movie.. it wasn't real there. Here it's real. And I'm afraid of what's going to happen," she glanced up at him, her light green eyes catching his, in surprise. They locked for several moments, speaking in silence.  
  
  
"You!" exclaimed Kris, glaring at Pippin. "You were watching me dress!"  
  
The youngest Hobbit gulped, and shook his head. "N-n-no, I wa-wasn't!" he insisted, his voice shaking. Kris stalked over to him, crouching before him. The overshirt of Aragorn's was ridiculously large on her, but the leggings fit rather well. She glared Pippin in the eyes.  
  
"I care not," she said gently, tilting her head. "I just wish to know why you would watch me dress."  
  
"Pippin's curious, is all," said Merry softly. "After all, you're a girl, a human girl, and Pippin's never seen one so pretty as you."  
  
Kris' mouth turned upward into a smile. "And how do you know that?" she asked, looking upon Pippin as he looked down, bright crimson sneaking to his cheeks.  
  
"He just told me!" exclaimed Merry, with a smile. "I did not watch you dress, but I heard him speak of you as he did. He thinks you're right pretty, and you make him tingle in-" He was cut off as Pippin punched him in the arm.  
  
"That's quite enough," muttered Pippin, standing up. "I'm sorry if I offended you, milady," he said, bowing his head to Kris, and walking over to where Sam sat.  
  
Kris watched as he walked away, then turned to Merry. Lifting a brow, she said, "Tingle.. where, exactly?"  
  
  
"You know what is to come," said Aragorn gently to De. She looked up, and then nodded.  
  
"Yes," she responded softly.  
  
"Would you tell us of it?" he asked, sitting beside her, close enough that his leg brushed against hers. She looked down, taking in a breath.  
  
"I do not know if I should," she answered honestly. "For all of it would not be good tidings. I know of great tragedy that will come to this Fellowship before the ordeal is over."  
  
"Tragedy?" asked Aragorn, and was surprised as a tear down De's cheek. She nodded a quiet response. Aragorn reached to her, letting his hand caress against her soft cheek, wiping away her tear.  
  
"Ah!" exclaimed Gandalf, and Aragorn pulled away quickly. "It's that way!"  
  
  
~*~* A/N: Damn that Gandalf! :-D *~*~ 


	7. I'm the Gingerbread Man!

~*~ A/N: All right, here's chapter 7. This one's for De! (Aragasm, maybe?) *~*  
  
  
  
As they entered Balin's tomb, Kris, De, and Lily gathered in a small huddle.  
  
"Guys, we have to decide now," said Lily, "Are we going to tell them about the Balrog and everything?"  
  
"I don't know," said De softly, considering. They glanced at Kris for her opinion, but she was paying them no attention.  
  
"Kris," hissed Lily, and the other girl blinked, looking up.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Pay attention, this is serious!"  
  
Kris shrugged, and then wandered off, joining the hobbits and Gandalf.  
  
"Do you think she even realizes that this is real?" asked De, and Lily shrugged.  
  
"I doubt it," said Legolas from behind them, his voice soft and strong at the same time. "She could have been killed back there, when she jumped upon the gate-keeper. It was foolish of her, but she does not realize the danger she is in."  
  
They were interrupted by a loud bang, followed by several ker-plunks, and a few more bangs, as Pippin accidentally knocked a skeleton down into the deep.  
  
"Fool of a Took!" exclaimed Gandalf, and Kris walked to Pip, holding his shoulder protectively.  
  
"It was an accident," she said, glaring up at the wizard. "He meant no harm."  
  
"Nonetheless," said De with a sigh, looking down. "The orcs are coming.. and they have a cave-troll."  
  
  
The door burst open, and orcs pounded in. Kris held her sword in front of her, glaring at the monsters who entered.  
  
"Come on!" she shouted, daring them to approach. "Come and get me, you stupid orcs!" She took a step forward, and was almost skewered by several arrows.  
  
"Kris! Stop being retarded!" exclaimed Lily, as she tried to fight off an approaching orc.   
  
Kris laughed, as an orc missed her once again. "Is that all you got?"  
  
"This isn't a game, foolish one," said Gandalf as he hit an orc with his staff.  
  
Kris stabbed an orc with her sword, but was quickly overcome by another orc, who knocked her to the ground. It was about to stab her through with it's sword, but Boromir chopped it in two.  
  
  
De shreiked as the cave troll entered the room, quickly focusing on her. It began to swing it's big hammer at her, but Aragorn dove, tackling her, driving her from the path of the beast. She groaned under him, and he looked down at her.  
  
"Thanks," she said softly, and he nodded. Bravely, De leaned up, catching his lips in a soft, quick kiss. He was surprised, but returned it. Then, he stood, and helped her to stand as well.  
  
  
Meanwhile, Kris had gotten to her feet, and was running around the Cave Troll, laughing up at it.  
  
"You big dumb troll!" she exclaimed, and leapt over a fallen orc. "You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!"  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" exclaimed Lily, pulling her out of the way of the large Troll hammer. It was then that Frodo caught the Troll's attention, and it persued him.   
  
"Jus' having a bit of fun," said Kris with a smile. "Relax."  
  
"Relax? Bloody Hell, Kris, this is serious."  
  
"Oh, calm down," said Kris, and saw several orcs in a corner.  
  
"Kamikazeeeee!" she screamed, charging at them.  
  
"Dumbass," said Lily softly.  
  
  
De ducked an orc's attack, and stabbed it gingerly with her sword. It was one of the last standing orcs. In the center of the tomb, Legolas and the rest were killing the Cave Troll. Suddenly, she heard Kris' shreik, and De quickly turned.  
  
"Kris!" she exclaimed, seeing her friend on the ground, surrounded by three orcs.  
  
As quick as lightening, Boromir and Aragorn were both killing the orcs. Gandalf knelt beside Kris, and checked her. She had a nasty slash on her stomache, but it could have been worse.   
  
Aragorn helped Kris to her feet, and she stood, doubled over.   
  
"Oh God," she said softly, looking at a spot on the floor. "This is.. this is real, you guys. There are really orcs.. and the cave troll.." her eyes widened, and she almost fell, from pain and emotion. "And.. Oh, God, the Balrog."  
  
"Balrog?!" asked Gandalf, his expression one of surprise. Kris nodded.  
  
"There's a Balrog," she whispered softly, and groaned once more, looking at her stomache. Blood stained her shirt. "Ow."  
  
Quickly, Aragorn and Gandalf bandaged her abdomen, tightly so she wouldn't lose any more blood.  
  
"Is there anything you need?" asked Lily, looking down at her friend, worried.  
  
"I could use a hug," Kris said softly, and was quickly bombarded by Merry and Pippin, diving at her, their arms holding her tightly. "Wow.. a Hobbit hug."  
  
  
  
~*~ A/N: :-D Please reveiw! *~*~ 


	8. ... chapter.

~*~ A/N: This is a short chapter, but.. that's ok! :-D *~*~  
  
  
"A Balrog," said Gandalf quietly, shaking his head. "It is as I feared."  
  
"Yes," said De softly, shaking her head. "The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. That is what they found - darkness and flame."  
  
Kris groaned, and straightened.   
  
"We have to move quickly," she said, finally realizing the magnitude of this. "For we are all in great danger..." she paused, considering. "Gandalf especially."  
  
The elder looked alarmed, and then raised his staff.  
  
"Very well, let us be gone," he said, and the group took off running toward the Bridge of Khazad-Dum. Kris ran alongside Gandalf, explaining to him what would happen if he was to linger.  
  
"As soon as you cast it into the deep, you must move quickly. For it will try to drag you down with it."  
  
Gandalf nodded, as though he understood, and was to follow her advice. They heard the Balrog approach, could feel it's heat on their backs as it gave them chase. One by one, they crossed the bridge, with Gandalf at the back.   
  
As the bridge broke, and the Balrog fell into darkness, Gandalf took a few steps backward, reaching the end of the bridge. It was then that the Balrog cast up it's whip, trying to catch Gandalf, to bring him down as well.  
  
"Gandalf!" Frodo exclaimed, and Kris locked eyes with Gandalf as he was caught by the whip. She leapt forward to try and reach his hand, but could do nothing to save him, as he fell into the darkness.  
  
"Nooo!" exclaimed Frodo, and Kris stood, her eyes wide and wet with tears. Aragorn reached out, grabbing her shoulder.  
  
"We must not linger," he said quietly, and she turned, leaving the mines and facing the harsh daylight of the mountains.   
  
Kris sank to her knees, tears falling freely from her eyes. About her, the rest of the Fellowship did much of the same.  
  
"I.. I warned him. I told him.. he should've been safe," she was saying. "I can't change anything.. it'll all end the same.. I.. I..." she trailed off, falling into tears.  
  
  
De stood, looking out into the mountains. Aragorn approaching her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned, catching his eye.  
  
"Is this the tragedy you spoke of?" he asked, and she nodded.  
  
"This is one tragedy," she said softly. The pain, the loss, the greif, was still there, even though she knew that Gandalf would return.  
  
"There are more to come then," said Aragorn gently, and took her into his arms as she burst into tears. He held her tightly, and she rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered softly into his ear, her breath against his skin making his entire being tingle.  
  
"It is not your fault," he whispered in response, and held her as though he wished to never let her go.  
  
  
Lily crossed her arms, looking down at the snow. Boromir tried to talk to her, but she pushed him away.  
  
"Why do you do that?" he asked softly, looking at her with confused eyes.  
  
"I wish not to grow close to you," she responded, knowing that his fate was death. "I wish not to grow close to anyone."  
  
"I wonder why," he said, and turned away from her, leaving her to be alone.   
  
  
~*~* A/N: More to come soon! :-D *~*~ 


	9. The Same Sky

~*~ A/N : All right. Here's another chapter... :-D Please reveiw! *~*  
  
  
The company approached Lothlorien, grief still heavy on their hearts. Lily, De, and Kris had decided not to tell them that Gandalf would return, for they did not want to tempt fate. As Gimli was warning Frodo and Sam of the "elf-witch" of the forest, Kris made a point to keep her eyes peeled. Truly, Haldir and the other elves appeared to pop out of nowhere. She was taken aback by Haldir's beauty - for, he was far more attractive than in the movie.  
  
"Gimli, you breath so loud they could have shot you in the dark," said Kris softly, and Haldir glanced upon her with an amused look in his eyes.   
  
Lily shook her head, holding back a smile. De glanced to Aragorn, surprised to see him gazing back.  
  
  
They trekked up to the chamber of the Lord and Lady of the Wood. The girls bowed their heads, in reverence of the beauty and wisdom of the elves before them. As Galadriel spoke in the other's minds to them, she spoke to Kris as well.   
  
"You know much of what is to come, young one, and I know that you are troubled. Take comfort tonight, and seek solace in the wisdom of the elves of the Wood. There are some who can help you."  
  
"But hope still remains," Galadriel spoke aloud, "While the company is true." Lily glanced to Boromir then, and was astonished to find that he wept openly. He felt a twinge in her heart, one that she had been trying to hide for some time now.   
  
"You know of his fate," she heard Galadriel's voice, even though her lips were still. "And even though your time together will be short, it would be better than none at all, would it not?"  
  
  
Lily watched Boromir as they descended the stairs. Kris watched her, a small smirk playing on her lips. When they reached the bottom, she got Lily's attention. Back in her jovial mood, feeling re-energized in the presence of the elves, she began to dance about, a grin on her face.  
  
"You love Boromir, you love Boromir!" she sang out, pointing at Lily. Lily's face turned deep crimson, and she glanced down.  
  
"You stupendous ass," she said softly, glaring at Kris. Her friend merely laughed, and shook her head.  
  
"Lighten up. We're with the elves now, and you love Boromir. So go jump him!" Kris grinned mischeviously, and then her expression turned pained as she heard a song from the Wood about her.  
  
"A lament for Gandalf," Legolas said softly, his head down.  
  
"I am going for a walk," said Kris, and turned, entering the forest. Lily was about to call after her, but Boromir stopped her.  
  
"Worry not for your friend, for Lorien is the best-guarded forest in all of Middle-Earth. Give her some time," he said to her, placing a soft hand on her shoulder. She gazed up at him, debating within herself whether to give in to her heart.  
  
  
Kris walked along, listening to the sound of the Elves' lament. She sat gingerly beneath a tree, and was surprised to hear the call of an elf from above her.  
  
"Your heart is troubled," he said softly, and she nodded, not even needing to look up.  
  
"Yes, it is, Haldir," she replied, and met his eyes when he climbed down to sit beside her.  
  
"Would you talk about it with me?" he asked, sitting close to her.  
  
"It's Gandalf," she said quietly, her eyes on the forest floor. "Gandalf, and this whole journey. I'm sure you know, I'm not from this world."  
  
"No," he laughed gently, shaking his head, "You most certainly are not. But that doesn't mean you don't belong here."  
  
"I should have been able to save him. I warned him that the Balrog would-" she gulped back several tears, stopping her sentence.  
  
"Aye, you warned him. And he heeded that warning, but fate does not give up so easily."  
  
"Then there's nothing I can do? It's all set in stone, and we can't change anything? That is a discouraging thought."  
  
Haldir shook his head, smiling softly. "Silly mortal girl," he placed a hand upon her cheek, and she caught his gaze.   
  
"Oh jesus," she murmured, as he leaned forward to kiss her. She caught his lips, astounded by the bitter sweetness the kiss had.   
  
He broke from her, and smiled widely. "I can make you forget all that ails you," he said gently, and she grinned, glancing down.  
  
"You and what army?" she muttered, and was astounded when three other male elves also climbed out of the tree. She recognized one, he had been with Haldir earlier.   
  
Haldir grinned, and leaned forward, whispering into her ear.  
  
"I bet you have never been romantic with four Lorien elves before."  
  
  
Lily grinned as she saw Kris wander back to the camp several hours later, looking rather disheveled.  
  
"What have you been up to?" asked Pippin curiously, and Kris could only laugh.  
  
"Trust me," she said mischeviously, "You don't want to know."  
  
Boromir laughed, and even Legolas looked amused; for with his elvish hearing, he could hear her and the four elves with her.  
  
Lily sat beside Boromir, taking his hand.  
  
"I wish to talk with you," she said gently, and he nodded, standing and going with her into the forest.  
  
"I am sorry," she began, looking down. She still held his hand, and felt him squeeze hers gently. "I've been acting like a brat."  
  
"Nae, milady, I've been acting like an ass," he said with a grin, and pulled her closer to him. "It is just that.. you are so beautiful, and.."  
  
She stopped him when she leapt into his arms, taking him in a deep kiss. He was clearly shocked, but soon took her in his strong arms, holding her tightly around the waist.   
"I want to love you," she said into his lips, pressing her thigh between his legs.   
  
So they loved beneath the trees, and even without elvish senses, the rest of the fellowship could hear.  
  
  
De lay beneath the stars, looking up with a puzzled look on her face. The sky seemed so much the same here, but everything else was differend. Looking at the sky, she could almost imagine she was at home. Without a word, Aragorn sat beside her.   
  
"The sky is the same," De said softly.  
  
"Is it?" asked Aragorn, taking a look upwards.  
  
"Yes.. it is the same in my world as it is here. I wonder why that is."  
  
"Perhaps our worlds share the same heavens as well," replied Aragorn, laying back against a tree.  
  
"That is a pleasant thought."  
  
Aragorn lay gingerly beside her, and placed an arm about her shoulders. They lay in silence for a long time, and then De drifted slowly to sleep.  
  
  
  
~*~A/N: *dances* The girls got some booty... The girls got some booty...*~*~ 


	10. Confession

~*~* A/N: Must be the Chinese food, but the Writer's block is gone! Here I go, writin'!! *~*~  
  
  
Kris yawned, rolling over. She grumbled something in a strange language (Kristinese, probably) and threw an arm over her eyes. Merry laughed, the rest of the Fellowship already awake.  
  
"What time is it?" she groaned, and Aragorn looked up at the sky.  
  
"Eight, I'd say."  
  
Kris grimaced. "Would someone kindly tell the Sun to go away for a few hours?"  
  
Legolas smiled, and shook his head. "She answers to no one, the Sun." With another groan, Kris sat up, and wiped her eyes. Lily and De giggled at her.  
  
"Exhausted?" Lily asked innocently. "I wonder why. Couldn't possibly have to do with an elf orgy, could it?"  
  
Kris glanced down, turning slightly red, then an evil grin crossed her face. "You gotta try it sometime guys. I mean, seriously... elves."  
  
Legolas looked incredibly uncomfortable, as did most of the other men around them.  
  
Pippin scoffed softly, shaking his head.   
  
"Hobbits are good too," he said in a whisper, and Merry, hearing him, laughed.  
  
"You wish you were those elves who loved Lady Kris, do you not?" he asked mischeviously, and Pippin looked down, nodding sheepishly.  
  
"Indeed, I do."  
  
"You need advice, little one?" asked Legolas, turning to them. He watched as the girls wandered off to talk, and then Pippin nodded.  
  
"Approach her when she is seated. Place your chin upon her shoulder, and speak softly into her ear. Ask if you may kiss her."  
  
"What if she says no?"  
  
"She will not," said Legolas, a knowing smile upon his delicate Elven lips.   
  
"What if she says yes?" asked Pip, his eyes wide, as though this prospect scared him more than that of her denial.  
  
Legolas laughed softly, shaking his head. "Then you kiss her!"  
  
"Pippin doesn't know how to kiss," said Merry with a smile. "I told him to practice on one of the Bolger sisters, but.."  
  
"Listen, young one. Kissing is not a difficult art. Press your lips to hers, and let her do the rest. Women from her world are quite experienced, I hear," said Legolas with a smirk. Obviously, he had spoken to Haldir since the previous night.  
  
  
Later that day, Kris, Lily, and De gathered just before they were to leave Lothlorien.  
  
"So.. going to miss the Elves?" asked Lily with a grin, in a rather good mood since the night before.  
  
"I have a confession," said Kris softly, glancing around to make sure they were alone. "Last night, with the Elves.. all I could think of was Pippin."  
  
Lily and De nearly fell to the ground with laughter.  
  
"Oh, come on!" exclaimed De, after her laughter subsided. "You were with four gorgeous elves, and all you could think of was the Hobbit?"  
  
Kris shrugged slightly, then nodded. "Yea."  
  
"You are so insane," said Lily softly. "But it's sweet, too, in a very crackheaded way."  
  
Kris laughed. "Gee, thanks."  
  
  
They stood before Galadriel, clothed in Elvish garb. She handed the girls each a beautiful gown, made by the best Elvish sewers in all of Lothlorien. Lily's was a deep blue, with silver threadwork. De's was a soft yellow color, and shimmered in the sun like gold. And Kris' was a light green, with dark green threading.   
  
They watched, smiles upon their faces, as the rest of the Fellowship received their gifts. Then, the company washed themselves in the River, ate a final meal, and prepared to leave Lothlorien.  
  
Kris gave Haldir a wink as she left the city. He smiled upon her, and then turned away. They decided who would ride in the boats; Lily would ride with Boromir and Sam, Aragorn with De and Frodo, and Kris would ride with Merry and Pippin. Legolas and Gimli would ride together.  
  
As they boarded the boats, Kris looked back upon Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel with sadness, knowing that they, soon, would diminish into the west. She also knew of the terrifying horrors they were about to encounter; the Uruk-hai.  
  
  
~*~* A/N: Ooo.. cliffhanger! *~*~ 


	11. River Thoughts

~*~ A/N: We're approaching the end of my crackheaded little tale! :-D *~*~  
  
  
Kris paddled the boat down the river, behind the others. In their small vessal, Merry and Pippin sat, looking wide-eyed at the world around them. The Great River was beautiful, and even Kris had trouble keeping her focus on the task at hand; guiding the boat. She had been raised near a very large lake, so she was familiar with boats, but was unfamiliar with the Great River.   
  
"You handle 'er well," said Merry with a smile, being a Brandybuck, the only hobbit who had handled a boat before. Kris smiled, and explained to them about where she came from, and the Lake. She left out the more interesting part, the myth of the Lake monster, for that would take far too long to tell. Pippin sat silently, watching her speak and paddle at once, noted how the sun kissed her hair, making the blonde and red highlights dance. After a bit, Merry, with a smile, offered to paddle the boat for a while. Kris shrugged, and agreed.   
  
"How are things with you, Sir Took?" Kris asked with a grin, sitting beside him and handing Merry the paddle.  
  
Pippin swallowed, and nodded. "Well, I'm well."  
  
"That's good," Kris responded, and lay back. "Boy," she allowed a yawn to escape, "I'm awful tired. Merry? Do you think you can paddle for an hour or so, I'd very much like a nap."  
  
Merry nodded. "Well, sure, Lady Kris," he said with a smile. "I can handle 'er for you."  
  
Kris smiled, and lay her head down, shutting her eyes. Immediately, she drifted to sleep. Pippin tapped Merry, and gestured down to the sleeping girl. Merry smiled, shaking his head at his friend.  
  
"You are a fool of a Took," Merry said quietly.  
  
"Nae," said Pippin with a sigh. "I'm a fool of a Took in love." He watched as Kris shifted, and sighed gently in her sleep. "I wish to kiss her," he said softly, and reached out, putting a hand through her hair.  
  
"For Valar's sake, Pippin, she's a teenage human. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just.. have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about?" *  
  
Pippin smiled, touching the girl's forehead.  
  
"Nae, I will wait, and follow Legolas' advice," he said, more to himself than to Merry, and then turned his attention toward the land about them.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily could tell that something was bothering Boromir, for his eyes were dark and full of worry. He remained silent, paddling the boat. Sam watched him with concern as well, but more for Frodo than for Boromir; he knew of Boromir's desire to weild the ring.  
  
Sam leaned back in the boat, still uneasy of being on water. He wasn't some foolish Brandybuck, who dared even to swim in the waters of the Shire - he preferred the stable land. He was even more uneasy of being seperated from Mr. Frodo, but he trusted Strider.  
  
Lily continued to watch Boromir for several minutes, before she reached out, tapping him lightly. He looked back, his eyes dark. When she gazed back, she didn't recognize the man that was there.  
  
~*~  
  
Frodo fingered the ring quietly, looking out over the water. It was beginning to feel heavier, hanging about his neck. He once again fought back the desire to put it on, instead looking to Aragorn.  
  
He paddled quietly, the Lady De by his side. Once in a while, one would reach out to touch the other, finding comfort in their contact. De was worried, the concern that played on her pretty face showed it. Frodo suspected that something terrible was to come, something really bad. He reached to the ring, finding that holding it comforted him in some way.  
  
De placed her hand on Aragorn's shoulder, and he glanced to her, smiling gently. She tightened her hold as she glanced up. The Pillars of the Kings loomed above them.  
  
"I have long wished to look upon the kings of old," said Aragorn softly. "My kin."  
  
"As have I," said De gently, and, placing her other hand on Aragorn's other shoulder, rubbed them gently. He groaned softly, his muscles tense from the journey.  
  
"What is that you are doing?" he asked, as she positioned herself better.  
  
"It's called a back massage. I'm surprised you don't have them here." She kneaded her hands into his shoulders, as Aragorn sighed and groaned, and then smiled.  
  
"Do you wish to make me crash the boat?" he asked teasingly. "If you continue to perform such devilry, I may very well do just that."  
  
De smiled sheepishly and nodded, leaning forward and kissing his cheek gently.   
  
"All right then," she said softly, and glanced out across the water.  
  
  
~*~* A/N: Okay, that little bit about the blueberry scone? Not mine. *grin* I took it from a line in the Prom episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No copywright infringement intended! I just thought it fit rather well there! *grin* More to come soon! *~*~ 


	12. The Greatest Test Approaches

~*~* A/N: All right. Almost done! *smile* By the way, you purists are NOT going to like what I do with this, because it completely messes up the balance of the whole story. That's okay. :-D It's my crackheaded world! *~*~  
  
  
As Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli pulled the boats ashore, Kris, Lily, and De stood together, speaking in hushed whispers.   
  
Kris stretched her arms, yawning softly. "So? Any idea what we're going to do?"  
  
"We're going to save Boromir," said Lily with a nod.   
  
"Are you sure we'll be able to?" asked De, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yea, I mean.. I warned Gandalf, I tried to save him, but he still fell," added Kris.  
  
Lily appeared angry for the moment. "I will not let Boromir die!"  
  
"I didn't say you ought to," said De with a frown. "I just said, I'm not certain if you'll be able to see him."  
  
"Haldir said-" began Kris, but she was cut off.  
  
"I don't give a fuck what Haldir said!" Lily replied, nearly shouting now. The hobbits glanced up in their direction. "I'm going to save him!" She stormed away, leaving the other two girls shaking their heads, watching her in amazement.  
  
  
With a sigh, Kris sat down on a fallen log. Her eyes drifted upward, studying the sky. The air seemed heavy, with danger and with anger. Behind her, she heard nothing as Pippin approached. She felt a soft hand on her shoulder, and Pippin stood behind her, his head resting on her shoulder.  
  
"May I kiss you?" he whispered, speaking into her ear gently. She turned slowly, catching his eyes.  
  
"O-okay," she said, stammering a little. With a gulp, Pippin leaned forward, placing his lips to Kris'. She shut her eyes softly, returning the kiss. Pippin tasted her sweet lips, then felt her tongue prying his own open. He obliged, wondering what was to come.   
  
She pressed her tongue into his mouth, running it across his teeth, and against his own tongue. Pippin moaned, deep in his throat, throwing his arms around Kris. She kissed him softly, passionately.   
  
Finally, they pulled apart, Pippin's eyes wide. Kris smiled, and ran a hand through his curly brown hair.  
  
"Your first kiss, I guess," said Kris gently, and Pippin nodded.  
  
"Could you tell?" he asked, glancing down.  
  
"No," she said with a smile, and took his hand in hers. "You kiss rather well, Mr. Took." With that, she brought his hand to her lips, kissing it softly. "Pippin, there is something I must tell you."  
  
"What is it?" he asked, squeezing her hand gently.  
  
"You're in danger," she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Pippin, but.. you're in such danger here. And everywhere. You're going to have some hard times, but never, ever lose faith in yourself. You're going to be a hero someday, Peregrin Took, I swear you are."  
  
  
De and Aragorn sat, speaking quietly of the situation.  
  
"Orcs and goblin men, crossed?" said Aragorn, shaking his head. "And they are good warriors?"  
  
"Not better than you," said De, lowering her own head. "But good, yes. The Fellowship is breaking, I know you can feel it. We will lose someone, to the Uruk-hai. Two of ours will be kidnapped. Frodo and Sam will go alone into Mordor. I tell you this because.. we must save him, Aragorn. I know he is confused right now, but.. he means no harm, and he does not deserve death."  
  
"You speak of Boromir," Aragorn said, his eyes wide. "Boromir is in danger?"  
  
De nodded, looking up at him. "We must save him."  
  
Aragorn placed an arm around her shoulder, comfortingly. "We will, if we can save him, we will." He caught her gaze, and met her lips with his.  
  
She broke from him, speaking slowly, "Will you make love to me, Sir Aragorn?"  
  
He smiled, and nodded, licking his lips.   
  
And he did.  
  
  
Lily stood, her arms crossed, looking off into the forest. At the moment, her beloved Boromir was making his worst mistake - he was trying to take the ring from Frodo. She heard De and Aragorn's lovemaking, then heard as they realized Frodo and Boromir were gone. She heard it all, from her standing point several feet away. Legolas watched the distance as well, his nose wrinkling every now and then. Gimli sat by him, sharpening his axe.  
  
Soon, Lily heard it. The sound of feet approaching - dozens, even hundreds, an entire army. Sharing a glance with Legolas, she headed in the same direction as he - for the armies of Sauruman approached. The Uruk-Hai neared, and their greatest test yet was at hand.  
  
  
~*~* *evil grin* Is that cliff-hangery enough for you? *~*~ 


	13. Against Time

~*~* A/N: All right... One of the last chapters. By the way, if you're a purist.. maybe you shouldn't read this. I'm screwing with the storyline a lot! lol *~*~  
  
  
Kris looked up as she heard them approaching. Sharing a look of horror with Pippin, she grabbed his hand, running quickly to the cover of a bush.  
  
"Pippin, listen to me," she said breathlessly, ducking into the hiding place. "You must stay here. Don't move, do you understand?" she asked, wide eyes meeting his, equally wide.  
  
"I understand," he said quietly, and received a quick kiss from the girl as she rushed off, in the direction of Merry.  
  
  
Aragorn rushed to Frodo's aide. Seeing him there, he knew immediately what had happened; Boromir had tried to take the ring. Then, his heart fell into his stomache as he heard the sounds of footsteps behind him. Sting was blue.   
  
Aragorn turned, holding his sword in front of him. He faced an army of the most vile creatures he had ever come across. The only thoughts in his mind were De's words: "Not better than you."  
  
  
Pippin glanced up, seeing Frodo running in his direction. Something was amiss. The Hobbit was alone. He heard the sound of Uruk-Hai behind them, and watched as Frodo hid behind a tree. He immediately knew what was happening - Frodo would go to Mordor alone. Pippin looked up in horror.  
  
Uruk-Hai approached. If they found Frodo, it would be over. All of Middle-Earth would suffer unbearably. Pippin couldn't let that happen - foolish as he was, he was no coward. He would be a hero!  
  
He jumped out of his hiding place, shouting so all the Uruk-Hai would see him. Giving Frodo one last glance, he set off running in the opposite direction. He didn't know whether to be glad or terrified; the Uruk-Hai, all of them, followed him. Frodo ran safely to the shore.  
  
  
Boromir looked up. Across the forest, he could see a small figure running, being chased after by the Uruk-Hai.  
  
"The little one," he said with horror, and started to run towards them.  
  
  
Merry ran with Sam, searching for Frodo. They found him, rowing out into the river. Sam started to wade into the water behind his best friend, but Merry grabbed him.  
  
"You can't swim!" he exclaimed, and took another boat from the shore. He and Sam seated themselves in it, and Merry started to row out into the Great River. As he and Sam reached the Eastern shore, he gave one last glance to the other side.  
  
"May the rest find a safer road," Merry said softly, and turned, facing Sam and Frodo.  
  
  
Pippin ran quickly, not needing to look back to know he was chased. He could smell them, feel their footsteps trampling the earth. They caught up to him, grabbing him and throwing him to the ground.  
  
"Get the halfling!" shouted one, a most vile and disgusting voice emitting from the cross-bread beast.  
  
Pippin cowered on the ground, and was about to be hid by the dull edge of a sword, as he heard a cry from above. Boromir approached, slashing at the monsters that threatened the Hobbit.  
  
Boromir pulled Pippin from the ground, and fought off more Uruk-Hai. They started running, Boromir blowing on the Horn of Gondor, hoping for some form of help.  
  
  
Lily heard the sound first, the deep bellow of the Horn.   
  
"Boromir!" she shouted, and started running in it's direction. Kris sooned joined her, as did De. Together, they ran, hoping they would be in time.   
  
  
Aragorn heard it as well, and his eyes widened. Legolas and Gimli were aiding him in the battle.  
  
"It's Boromir!" he shouted, and started running. Slowed by several Uruk-Hai, he quickly slashed them, racing against time to get to Boromir of Gondor, before it was too late.  
  
  
~*~* A/N: Ooo... will they get there before it's too late? And how much more will I screw up the storyline? We'll see! *~*~ 


	14. Wonder How Much We Screwed Up Middle-Ear...

*~* A/N: I'm being threatened! lol. De and Lil are threatening me... I have to finish this now! *giggle* This will be the last chapter. Enjoy! And.. sorry for f*cking up the storyline. *~*~  
  
  
They all arrived there at once, and things seemed to happen in slow motion. Out of the forest, Lily could see Lurtz, the Uruk-Hai who would kill Boromir, approach. A bow was in it's wretched hand.  
  
She pulled a sword, and started off toward it. It loosed an arrow. Lily reached it just as it allowed the first arrow to fly. It peirced Boromir's chest. With a cry, Lily slashed at it with it's sword.  
  
She didn't even cut into it, for it clattered off it's armor. It glared down at her, a perverse smile stretching across it's black lips.  
  
"Lily!" shouted Boromir, and Aragorn turned his attention to Lurtz. It grabbed Lily by the hair, pulling her to it. Taking a sniff of her, it grinned even wider.  
  
"Woman flesh," it sneered, it's vile breath gagging Lily. She whimpered, and the other Uruk-Hai seemed to form a barrier around him. Aragorn was caught, fighting the other monsters. Boromir fell to his knees, and then stood again, fighting off another Uruk-Hai that approached.  
  
Lurtz sneered down at Lily, seeming to look at her for hours, but it was only a second before it unsheathed it's sword. It was then that Aragorn broke through the other orcs. Diving at them with a feirce battle cry, Aragorn slashed at Lurtz, removing it's arm quickly; but not before the monster took one stab at Lily.  
  
She fell to the ground, her eyes wide. Her hands held her shoulder, where the Uruk-Hai had stabbed at her. Her hands quickly became wet with blood, as Boromir, arrow still in his chest, ran to her.  
  
"Lily," he said softly, kneeling beside her. She touched his chest gently, feeling the arrow.  
  
"Don't die," she whispered back, and he shook his head.   
  
"I won't if you won't," he promised, and Lily leaned against him, carefully avoiding the arrow that still protruded from his chest.  
  
  
Pippin locked eyes with Kris, who was also working hard to fight off the one Uruk-Hai who attacked her. They were feirce warriors, and she, nor any of the other girls, were any match for them. She and De slashed at it with their swords, finally killing it after a while.  
  
Kris saw the monster grab at Pippin from behind. She called out, and started to run toward them, but was cut off by two Uruk-Hai, who glared down at her threateningly.   
  
She cowered back, but continued to call out.  
  
"Pippin!"   
  
"Kris!" he responded, as he disappeared over the hill, slung over the shoulder of a disgusting Uruk-Hai.  
  
  
Aragorn knelt beside Boromir, pulling the arrow from his chest gently. Lily was bandaged by Legolas, who had some Elvish healing skills. Kris sat, her eyes full of tears.  
  
"I warned him," she said softly to herself. "I warned him not to move. But... he had to save Frodo."  
  
Boromir looked at Lily, his expression pained.   
  
"I tried to take the ring," he confessed gently, and she nodded.   
  
"I know. It wasn't your fault, the ring made you."  
  
"This is my fault," he responded, but she shook her head, placing a finger over his lips.  
  
"Never," she said, and kissed him softly, ignoring the stabbing pain in her shoulder.  
  
  
The sky seemed to glitter with light for a moment, and they watched in wonder as a telephone booth fell to the earth. Lily, De, and Kris poured out.  
  
"You have to go now," said the other De, placing extra emphasis on the word "now". Kris looked up, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Why didn't you warn me?" she asked, accusingly, glaring up at the other them.  
  
"It is fate," said the other De, shaking her head. "You have already changed this world's destiny enough. It is time for you to leave."  
  
  
De looked up at Aragorn, tears in her eyes. She caressed his face, and he placed a kiss on her forehead.  
  
"Never, ever forget me, Sir Aragorn," she said, and he smiled sadly down at her.  
  
"I promise," he replied.  
  
  
Boromir, still in pain from the wound in his chest, hugged Lily tightly to him. They whispered softly to each other, and then parted.  
  
  
"Say goodbye to Pippin for me," said Kris softly to Aragorn, and he nodded. Kris smiled at Legolas. "And if you ever see Haldir, tell him I had fun."  
  
Legolas looked down, shaking his head softly. "Silly mortal girls."  
  
  
They crowded into the telephone booth, looking out across Middle-Earth for the last time. With a sigh, De dialed several numbers, and they were gone.  
  
  
They landed back in Lily's front yard. Blinking at their surroundings, they stepped out of the telephone booth, astonished when it zapped off again.  
  
"Let's do that again!" said Kris with a grin, and Lily and De laughed, shaking their heads.  
  
"That was interesting," said De, and sighed softly.  
  
Kristin grinned mischeviously "Yea.. wonder how much we screwed up Middle-Earth?"  
  
  
~*~* A/N: *collapses* That's the end, folks! *~*~ 


End file.
